Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
I give him blow jobs while he watches sports.. how am I not his gf yet??
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
Randomize
