and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Randomize
