If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
