Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
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