You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Randomize
