remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
Randomize
