Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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