my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
