I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
She gave me a roadie as we drove home from fireworks. People were still lighting off their displays as we drove by. I love America.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
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