you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
At first I was a little embarrassed for sharting, but then i realized it was a bachelor party, and I went balls to the wall
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
