Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
Randomize
