I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Single handedly the worst sex I've ever had just went down. Its like we both laid there after word-less thinking about the other " could they be any worse in bed" ?
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
