Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
