He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
