guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
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