wrigley field is MILF paradise
Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
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