my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
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