I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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