we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
