i woke up with a shirt on. the kids in my daycare group had a lot of questions when i took off my shirt at the pool to reveal "property of brittany" written on my chest and an arrow pointing to my dick.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
how drunk are you?
Several
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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