i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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