i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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