K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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