and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
whose ass print is on the piano?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize