I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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