I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
The little girl I babysit saw pink plastic shot glasses in my car and asked what they were for and I told her they were princess teacups.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Randomize
