I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
You know how the doctor said I need to stop being vegan unless I find a way to get more protein? There's protein in beer. The doctor wants me to drink more beer.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
