Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize