if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
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