I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
Slept on the counter again. Mom covered me in an apron.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
