i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
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