You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize