4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
It's just like the Real World with babies
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
