The Redheads category on Pornhub is my number 2 site behind facebook on google chrome. I think I have a problem
My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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