I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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