I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
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I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
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If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants