She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Guy Accidentally Starts A Group Chat With All The Girls He’s Talking To And Gets Absolutely Roasted
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I just ordered a onesie on amazon in the back of the ambulance while my patient was sleeping. I'm an adult
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt