what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
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