I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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