TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
