I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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