To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
