she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
