Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
