i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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