wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
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