I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Randomize
