She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
Randomize
