I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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