Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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