You're my little dorito
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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