I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize
