She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Randomize
